Revenge of the Nerd

I used to think I was an “it”. Growing up I thought having unruly, unkempt hair was normal. I didn’t think I was ugly nor beautiful, but I thought I was “unique” .  All my friends were button cute  while I was considered a giant.They played house with dolls and I played with marbles and was fascinated with tadpoles.download (1)

At school, during recess they would play chinese garter, and the only reason why I would be  asked to join was because I was the tallest and they wanted to win the tournament badly.

Sometimes though while they play, the teacher would ask me to fetch anything-water, food, even clean the desk previously soiled by a classmate with incontinence problem. I must be really outstanding and different because they thought I was couple years older than them!  My girl classmates would cry when I approach them because I was intimidating. My boy classmates would gang up on me, wait till class was over and lie in wait wanting to beat me up.

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Fast forward to high school, it was worse.I was androgynous. While they were having boyfriends left and right, I was picking  fights with the school bully. One time I was walking down the hallway, the bully and his sidekicks made a remark and whistled- I went back and smacked the guy on the head with “History of the World”  textbook!  Ha! Ha! Ha! His  moniker was ‘the worm”, I mean what kind of a person would call himself  “the worm”?

Some well meaning friends tried to introduce me to their party world. One time before going to a party she changed my blouse and sprayed me cologne. I later found out that it was  car freshener.  That was my first and last party because I was so bored that while waiting for someone to ask me dance, I dozed off and drooled on my (guy) friend’s  shoulder. Harumpt!!

I never really had a close girlfriend. Everyone was generic. I did everything quite differently not out of choice but because I was expected to be different, so much so that when I made it to the top section, I had to recall if I cheated or not. Talk about casting doubts, huh?

the flyThen, college came and  well it got complicated. I was trying to become human but it was like that Jeff Goldblum  moment where he went through the teleportation process and came out to be a hybrid of man and fly, but mostly fly.

Boobs were perky but legs were hairy.  One time while rehearsing for a part ( I was a theater member), a fellow actor approached  me and said  “I really like your stockings, they are unique. Do they really come with hair?”

Sigh, I had a tough life.

On the day of the play, I upstaged everyone ( modesty aside) because I was really funny, and I still am. People were happy and were entertained but I believe that I really made an impact because I heard later on that people were asking if I was a man or a woman. At least I became known university-wide.

While my friends were getting divirginized, I was getting elected class president, history club president, cooking president, Depeche Mode president. I was an excellent debater and I asked questions all the time. I was a member of an organization that got tired of my complaints and proposed reforms that  council created a position and made me head-of the grievance committee, amazingly all complaints stopped almost immediately.

I kinda looked like her with my turquoise/ burgundy eyeglasses

I graduated college with flying colors and that’s when transformation began.

…to be continued.

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