I used to think I was an “it”. Growing up I thought having unruly, unkempt hair was normal. I didn’t think I was ugly nor beautiful, but I thought I was “unique” . All my friends were button cute while I was considered a giant.They played house with dolls and I played with marbles and was fascinated with tadpoles.
At school, during recess they would play chinese garter, and the only reason why I would be asked to join was because I was the tallest and they wanted to win the tournament badly.
Sometimes though while they play, the teacher would ask me to fetch anything-water, food, even clean the desk previously soiled by a classmate with incontinence problem. I must be really outstanding and different because they thought I was couple years older than them! My girl classmates would cry when I approach them because I was intimidating. My boy classmates would gang up on me, wait till class was over and lie in wait wanting to beat me up.
Fast forward to high school, it was worse.I was androgynous. While they were having boyfriends left and right, I was picking fights with the school bully. One time I was walking down the hallway, the bully and his sidekicks made a remark and whistled- I went back and smacked the guy on the head with “History of the World” textbook! Ha! Ha! Ha! His moniker was ‘the worm”, I mean what kind of a person would call himself ”the worm”?
Some well meaning friends tried to introduce me to their party world. One time before going to a party she changed my blouse and sprayed me cologne. I later found out that it was car freshener. That was my first and last party because I was so bored that while waiting for someone to ask me dance, I dozed off and drooled on my (guy) friend’s shoulder. Harumpt!!
I never really had a close girlfriend. Everyone was generic. I did everything quite differently not out of choice but because I was expected to be different, so much so that when I made it to the top section, I had to recall if I cheated or not. Talk about casting doubts, huh?
Then, college came and well it got complicated. I was trying to become human but it was like that Jeff Goldblum moment where he went through the teleportation process and came out to be a hybrid of man and fly, but mostly fly.
Boobs were perky but legs were hairy. One time while rehearsing for a part ( I was a theater member), a fellow actor approached me and said ”I really like your stockings, they are unique. Do they really come with hair?”
Sigh, I had a tough life.
On the day of the play, I upstaged everyone ( modesty aside) because I was really funny, and I still am. People were happy and were entertained but I believe that I really made an impact because I heard later on that people were asking if I was a man or a woman. At least I became known university-wide.
While my friends were getting divirginized, I was getting elected class president, history club president, cooking president, Depeche Mode president. I was an excellent debater and I asked questions all the time. I was a member of an organization that got tired of my complaints and proposed reforms that council created a position and made me head-of the grievance committee, amazingly all complaints stopped almost immediately.
I kinda looked like her with my turquoise/ burgundy eyeglasses
I graduated college with flying colors and that’s when transformation began.
…to be continued.