kleverkat:

That’s what i’m talking about!

Originally posted on International Liberty:

I haven’t shared any of the anti-politician jokes from the late-night talk shows since last year, so time for a new batch.

Jay Leno

  • President Obama wants Congress to increase the minimum wage. Believe me, when it comes to doing the minimum for their wage, Congress knows what it’s talking about.
  • Earlier tonight President Obama gave his State of the Union address. At every State of the Union address the president is introduced by some guy who walks in and says, “Mr. Speaker, the president of the United States!” If we’re really serious about reducing the size of government, start with that guy. What does he work, one day a year?
  • This is a real break with tradition. When the president walked into the chamber, instead of “Hail to the Chief,” they played “Hey, Big Spender.”
  • According to a leaked report from an upcoming U.N. study on climate change…

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Chris Culliver and the Homophobics

Why say something and apologize for it?

The answer is for commercial reason. You speak against a large demographic and you run the risk of losing profits. While  most people are comfortable with homosexuals, some people really are not.

Chris Culliver said what he really feels about homosexuality and he is entitled to his opinion. No one can force him to accept homosexuality, let alone play with him or be around him in the locker room-that is his preference. However, when you are representing a corporation or a group, a little tact is in order.

If he is homophobic, let him be homophobic. Just not speak for the entire group.

I have gay friends, they are talented, wonderful, funny and really nice people. We just differ in our belief system, and while as a Christian I believe it’s wrong, I truly love them as human beings and we respect each other for our differences. They do not attack me for believing it’s wrong, and I don’t attack them for being gay-a little understanding goes a long way.

So don’t attack homophobics as well. That is just my take on this Chris Culliver issue. He felt that way, he said it and too bad he represents a profitable company and that makes the big difference.

I always tell my gay friends and they understand this: I always tell them, the society is  accepting  their sexual orientation,very slowly and some “demands” can’t be given right away (or won’t be  given at all),and that they should be prepared when they can’t get what they want on their terms. That is how it is because we still abide by moral structures, and they get that. They understand. They are not stupid morons, they just want acceptance and respect.

Do not demean them just because they are gay people. Even if Jesus were here today, He would welcome them and have  dinner with them and talk to them. Jesus will tell them that it is morally wrong, but Jesus won’t force Himself on them. Freewill people..?

And don’t send me hate emails or comments, either. This is what I believe in and I am expressing it. Homosexuals don’t force people to accept you, straight people don’t force gay people to accept you. They want to be gay, let them. They want to be straight let them. Be respectful still, regardless and stay out of trouble.

Think before you open your mouth and say hurtful things-that’s for both gay and straight.

It’s in the Bag!

images (2)Some fifty years ago, paper bags were free. Then in the 70s plastic bags were introduced as cheaper alternative because it was more durable. Besides, they said paper bags use up more trees and again the issue of environmental decline was used.

The environment is changing and people don’t care and everything is a hazard to the environment now-okay okay we get it.  Environment aside, behind the ever changing laws on bags (either plastic or paper) has always been motivated by money and greed, period.

At the Lucky store across us, prior to January 1 of this year they had paper bags all over the counter so shoppers can just grab them and use them as alternative to plastic bags-it was free.  Now, the plastic bags are gone and paper bags cost ten cents.

Why penalize the shoppers if we want to use paper bags?  I don’t follow the logic.  Years ago, they said ban on paper bags will help save the environment/trees. So now, all of that changed? Never mind the trees as long as you pay , we’re okay. See how that works?

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So next time both plastic and paper bags will be banned, that’s fine. But don’t mask the greed by environmental concern it is sickening. The core of the matter is not much of what we use, it is how we use and dispose of it. The lifestyle and general attitude of the people must be changed. No band -aid remedy can ever solve the problem.

Every time we ask the clerks as to why we are paying for the paper bags, we get either an attitude or a virtual finger. It was like we ask because we are clueless and don’t care about the environment. We are not idiots. What we question all the time is the flaw in their logic. But you know you can’t rely on the frontliners anymore.

I’m just tired of people deciding for me. images (3)

Are You a Moron or an Idiot?

One time I asked my boyfriend which according to his opinion is worse, being an idiot or a moron. He said idiot and I laughed. Why? because I thought it was funny. When we drive around, and we see erratic stupid drivers-we always almost in chorus exclaim, “moron!” . Forgive me for equating those crazy drivers with morons, they should actually be idiots. Image

According to Wikipedia : It was once applied to people with an IQ of 51–70, being superior in one degree to “imbecile” (IQ of 26–50) and superior in two degrees to “idiot” (IQ of 0–25). 

 I will remember to address them as idiots next time, as I therefore conclude that anyone driving erratically, without regard to other people and endangering lives must have an IQ below sea level.  

Drivers talking on the phone, especially on the freeway are idiots.

Drivers texting while driving are idiots.

Driving while drunk are beyond idiocy, they are brain dead and therefore must not be allowed to drive ever and shall be forbidden to even go out of the house. 

Drivers racing and swerving and changing lanes only to get to a stop light are idiots. 

Drivers occupying half of the pedestrian lane are idiots, no doubt. 

Drivers with super loud bass speakers cranked up playing chacha (well, to each his own)  but still idiots.

Drivers parked occupying 1.5 slots of the parking space are idiots.

Drivers who tailgate and rushing the motorist ahead are idiots.

Drivers who back out of a parking lot without looking are idiots. 

Drivers who try to race and beat the pedestrians from crossing are idiots.

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So what are you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Revenge of the Nerd

I used to think I was an “it”. Growing up I thought having unruly, unkempt hair was normal. I didn’t think I was ugly nor beautiful, but I thought I was “unique” .  All my friends were button cute  while I was considered a giant.They played house with dolls and I played with marbles and was fascinated with tadpoles.download (1)

At school, during recess they would play chinese garter, and the only reason why I would be  asked to join was because I was the tallest and they wanted to win the tournament badly.

Sometimes though while they play, the teacher would ask me to fetch anything-water, food, even clean the desk previously soiled by a classmate with incontinence problem. I must be really outstanding and different because they thought I was couple years older than them!  My girl classmates would cry when I approach them because I was intimidating. My boy classmates would gang up on me, wait till class was over and lie in wait wanting to beat me up.

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Fast forward to high school, it was worse.I was androgynous. While they were having boyfriends left and right, I was picking  fights with the school bully. One time I was walking down the hallway, the bully and his sidekicks made a remark and whistled- I went back and smacked the guy on the head with “History of the World”  textbook!  Ha! Ha! Ha! His  moniker was ‘the worm”, I mean what kind of a person would call himself  “the worm”?

Some well meaning friends tried to introduce me to their party world. One time before going to a party she changed my blouse and sprayed me cologne. I later found out that it was  car freshener.  That was my first and last party because I was so bored that while waiting for someone to ask me dance, I dozed off and drooled on my (guy) friend’s  shoulder. Harumpt!!

I never really had a close girlfriend. Everyone was generic. I did everything quite differently not out of choice but because I was expected to be different, so much so that when I made it to the top section, I had to recall if I cheated or not. Talk about casting doubts, huh?

the flyThen, college came and  well it got complicated. I was trying to become human but it was like that Jeff Goldblum  moment where he went through the teleportation process and came out to be a hybrid of man and fly, but mostly fly.

Boobs were perky but legs were hairy.  One time while rehearsing for a part ( I was a theater member), a fellow actor approached  me and said  “I really like your stockings, they are unique. Do they really come with hair?”

Sigh, I had a tough life.

On the day of the play, I upstaged everyone ( modesty aside) because I was really funny, and I still am. People were happy and were entertained but I believe that I really made an impact because I heard later on that people were asking if I was a man or a woman. At least I became known university-wide.

While my friends were getting divirginized, I was getting elected class president, history club president, cooking president, Depeche Mode president. I was an excellent debater and I asked questions all the time. I was a member of an organization that got tired of my complaints and proposed reforms that  council created a position and made me head-of the grievance committee, amazingly all complaints stopped almost immediately.

I kinda looked like her with my turquoise/ burgundy eyeglasses

I graduated college with flying colors and that’s when transformation began.

…to be continued.